parent and child holding hands — Counseling
for the Loss
of a Child

Your grief is unique to YOU.
You are entitled to feel while you grieve.
There is no wrong way to grieve any loss.

It’s just not fair. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Not YOUR child. If you could only turn back time and trade places, you would do it in a heartbeat. You’ve already lived, and they were just starting.

You have been told, “They are in a better place,” and “They are no longer suffering,” which is supposed to make you feel better, but it does not. You feel upset when people tell you, “It’s been years. It's time to move on.” Nobody understands. Everyone thinks you should be “over it” by now. But your CHILD died — how do you move on from that?

Becoming a parent was the greatest moment in your life. Your child represented both your best self and your worst self. You had plans for them. But those hopes and expectations were shattered by the most heartbreaking loss anyone could ever imagine and has become your eternal nightmare. Now you only mourn what could have been.

Birthdays and the holidays should have been celebrations, but for you, they are now the most depressing times. No presents to give, no Christmas stockings to stuff, you could go on and on. You are still dwelling about what could have been, and are only left with the painful images that no one can truly understand.

At times you cry for no reason. You walk in the room where they are supposed to be, and you hear their voice, but no one is there. You feel like you are going crazy.

You no longer have the drive to do the things you love, as you have lost the motivation and feel guilty about enjoying your life. You envy other people who have lost loved ones, and have been able to recover and find happiness, but you just can’t find it in yourself to do the same.

Worst of all, you fear that more lonely days are yet to come. This is the worst pain anyone could ever imagine, and it never seems to end. Losing your child is one of the deepest hurtful pains, and unexplainable feelings you will ever have.

Now it is time to heal.

When your child died, a part of you also died. It may take a while to process the loss, but sometimes you need the space to mourn your loss. You just need to find a new way to live while honoring your child. To learn how to remember them without feeling guilty for finding joy in your life again. This does not mean you love them any less.